Glamour Girl has been witnessing yet another trend that is driving her crazy (I know, there are so many of them). She wishes she could get inside the brains of some of the people following this trend and find out just what the heck is going on—besides the all-too-familiar habit of humans to jump on whatever bandwagon comes down the pike, that is.
Accordingly, this entry falls under a category GG started lo these five years ago, with an entry called, “Will Hideosities Never Cease?!” wherein she gnashed her teeth and rent her garments over the abundant fashion ugliness in the world.
Today’s hideosity is all that dark black, grey, and blue nail polish we’re seeing everywhere.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but . . .
. . .
Eeeeeek!
What is the appeal??
I mean, do you really want your fingertips looking as though they have some sort of disease?
Actually, even worse, if that’s possible, are these crazy neon colors:
Or a color that looks like dried blood:
I’ll also add that if you’re going to go for these outlandish colors, you’d better have impeccable, picture-perfect hands. Because the former call attention to the latter in a big way.
To find out if others shared her distaste for these deep hues, GG polled some of her girlfriends. Here’s what they had to say:
Alexandra Deutsch, glamorous Chief Curator at the Maryland Historical Society, has a cultural theory: “I think all these dark nail polish colors are revolting. Is it the zombie/vampire-obsession that is creeping into fashion because of shows like ‘The Walking Dead’ and ‘True Blood’? My 12 year-old daughter has been wearing navy nail polish on her toes for months and black on her nails. I find it so unattractive. I stand behind my opinion even if she tells me I need to ‘break out more’ when it comes to my style. I am leaving that to her. No black nails for me!”
Marketing exec Debbie Tolson, of Marketing Marvels, Inc., shares Alexandra’s and GG’s revulsion: “I think it is hideous. I was in the spa biz for many years; I don’t get it. I am a French manicure girl, haven’t had color on my nails for years except maybe a pale pink and years ago red maybe for a winter occasion. I think those colors are hideous. Recently I saw someone with green. OMG.”
Personal trainer AM: “Not much to say on this trend which has been around for quite a few years. First, the ads feature these colors (wasn’t Dior the first to show blackish polish?) and readers buy into it. It is a cheap way to be trendy. The decision is similar to women buying color cosmetics on a whim. Question—are these dark colors any worse than bright yellow, blue, or orange that showed up this past summer? I do have a lot to say considering the fact that I never paint my nails.”
Lawyer and neighborhood activist Dawna Cobb paid the poll forward: “Now sitting at the bank and the lady helping me is at least my age and is wearing dark grey nail polish. I asked her why she was wearing it. She said she usually wears beige polish, but Revlon was having a sale and she decided to try something new for fun.”
Laura C., an exec in Laurel, had some strong language: “I go every two weeks for a mani/pedi, and without question the most popular colors are indeed those awful darks. The shelves are polluted with rows of dark, dank rainbows of black, brown, purple, green. In either matte or pearl finishes. OPI and ESSIE invest millions in research in not only colors but names of these Godforsaken colors. I cannot imagine what women are thinking.”
Actually, that brings up another point, and I know I’m going to get sh*t for this, but here goes: I think it’s hilarious that women spend money—a lot of money—on professional manicures and pedicures.
A haircut I understand. I can’t cut my own hair. I need a professional to do that. But painting my nails? That takes no particular skill. I can do that myself (if I want to, which I rarely do; I don’t subscribe to the notion that one has to have painted fingernails and toenails to look well groomed). I sure as hell am not going to pay someone 15 or 20 or 30 bucks to do what I can easily do myself, with results that look just as good. Yet women pony up what amounts to hundreds of dollars a year to get this done.
Okay, if you’re doing it to pamper yourself, then yeah, I get it. To each his own. Some people also like facials (another procedure I think is a riot). But if you’re doing it because you don’t feel capable of painting your nails on your own, or if you can’t afford it yet still get it done, I have to wonder why.
As I said, I know this sentiment is going to rub lots of people the wrong way, so feel free to take me apart in the comments (though you’ll never convince me that those dark colors are good looking).
Let ‘er rip!
